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Health, Lifestyle

Remember, You Can’t Make Everyone Happy. Keep Your Sanity!

Keep Your Sanity by Doing These Four Things.

 

There are  people who aren’t deserving of your worth. It can be a so called friend, family member, or even a manager etc…

The fact that you consistently receiving negative feedback regardless of how hard you try, you start playing these scenarios in your head: “Maybe if I go the extra mile, they’ll like me better.  Maybe if I stop showing up, I’ll be less loved. Maybe, I need to stick around longer, things will get better”.

Stop, just stop!!! I want you to get of your head now and be aware of these four things that will keep you sane.

Number 1.

Say “no” to any requests that doesn’t match your priorities. Before you commit yourself to any tasks, be it for work or aspects in life, ask yourself if it’s aligned with your purpose and priority? Especially, if you already know that it won’t be appreciated.

Number 2.

Know every details before you take on responsibilities that aren’t yours. The last thing you want is providing help that turns out to be a complete nightmare. If you know, it’s something that you don’t have much information or understanding about, find out more before saying “yes”.

Number 3.

Stop appearing for people who are indifferent to your presence. You are not for everyone, and they are not all for you. So, stop giving your love and energy to people who aren’t reciprocate.

Number 4.

Embrace the people that are rooting for your well-being. You have already experienced what is not a healthy relationship; therefore, you know when you have some genuine people around you. It feels special.

Remember, when you stay away from people who are driving you nuts; it doesn’t mean you ruined a relationship. It simply means that you have the balls to go to another community that craves you.
Yes, you can sill continue to love them, but from far way, with another perspective.
Until next time.
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Lifestyle, My Dedication Planner

The Joy of Planning Ahead.

Why planning ahead helps.

“It takes as much energy to wish as it is to plan”. Eleanor Roosevelt.
Planning ahead is something important that we all can agree on. It could be a business, job, school, project; we would be very confused to complete any task if we wait the very last minutes.

Planning gives us a clear perspective on what needs to be done, what goals are to be achieved and what amount of time will be spent on completing the said goals. It is safe to say that time management has a lot to do with proper planning as it encourages the planner to set aside a reasonable time for a specific task before moving ahead to the next.

These self imposed deadlines is a great form of motivation.
By planning ahead, the amount of stress and frustration that can be avoided is huge. Let’s take a quick example from the time you were in school, waited last minute to get a project; although, you may be smart enough to pull it off, you would probably have anxiety completing it.

Even in terms of budgeting, one can rest assure that their finances are well tracked to prevent any overspending; but planning ahead will allow proper spending and saving of one’s money and achieving one’s short and long term financial goals. Yes, there will be raining days or last minute emergencies to deviate your plan but if you have planned ahead , the stress would be way less.

How and where to begin?
One can start by putting pen into paper on what goals you want to achieve this new month or upcoming year. Then, break it down and start planning how you are going to achieve the goals you have set out for yourself. I use this cute planner to help me prioritize life goals by planning weekly goals and to-do list. It also help me practice self care at the same time which keeps me sane whenever I feel overwhelmed.

Remember planning is bringing the future into the present; therefore part of having a plan is that it is able to accommodate such variables and reduce the amount of stress that you  may experience compared to when there is no plan in place.

Start planning for 2021 Here

HAPPY PLANNING & GOOD LUCK!

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Werk Pray Slay Weekend Recap: Mental Burden of Student Loans

Week Pray Slay Weekend Recap: Mental Burden of Student Loans

I have recently moved from Philadelphia to Atlanta a month ago and Werk Pray Slay was by far my best conference in years because it gave me perspectives from different sides of life and business ; either financial, mental, spiritual and emotional. Can you imagine a group of women, from different backgrounds and businesses in the same room? I have been in conference where the people are within the same company (nothing wrong with that), but sitting next to someone that can either built your website, teach you how to create your business’ elevator speech, find you a rental property, create a business plan etc…is theeee best atmosphere.

One of the things that grabbed my attention was the Student Loan Doctor, Sonia Lewis. Sonia started the business to really help her figuring out a plan for her own student loans, then  started to help a few people figure out a plan for themselves but really didn’t think this would turn into a major business. Her business is now growing and have received  recognitions from the city of Philadelphia. (Sonia in the middle)

 

When I first read an article about Sonia, I didn’t really spend time reading because I don’t have student loans, but came to this event to find out that she is not only helping  those with students to create a plan for themselves, but for their kids as well.
Our community is sinking in student loans debt. According to  New York Times, the average Black family in America has one-tenth the wealth of the average White Americans. The black household was about 50,000 compared to 59,000 Hispanic and 68,000 for white; therefore, people can rely on these loans to get by. In addition, African women have the most degrees in the United States; however, we have the most student loans debt. An AA woman who is debt free by the age of 39-41, will likely go into debt once again with a parent plus loans  because she spent most of her time paying  her student loans and not saving for a her kids college funds. Parent loans have higher interest and this constant financial burden will drive you insane. Now, she spent all her lifetime paying for student loans, became sick, passed away without leaving any wealth to pass on to her children.


How can we change the conversation?  If a child gets a scholarship or if a woman/man earns at a certain point, she may be excluded from the latter part. Moreover it is important as parents or guardians to not push our kids right after high school just because they are grown and you want them to experience life just like you did. You are not helping the situation because not only you spent your life fighting these financial and mental demons but you are creating the same path for your kids as well.


One thing that I am forever grateful for is the fact that my parents helped me through college, I was welcomed to stay until I finish school. When I started school in this country, I was an international student; therefore, I have to pay out of pocket and out of states fees. I wasn’t qualify for financial aid but I’m grateful to have a bachelor’s degree without owning a PENNY.   I knew the best way to get by was scholarship. I kept applying every time I get a chance and it could be between $500 to 1500 per semester.  Also, by attending a community college in the first two years, I was able to secure almost a full scholarship just because it was for students who attended a community college in the state of Florida.

None of these made since back then, I just didn’t want mom to get a loans to give me that extra boost. Seeing now how the student loans crisis is outrageous, I am thankful that I did it that way. Moral of the story; there are tons of scholarship for various reasons and all you have to do is applying.

Stop creating the same environment you had as a child for your kids. Talk to them about career choice, what they enjoy to do, financial decisions for school. Instead of sending them away just because you think they are grown and should get a loan  to get by, sit with them and start looking for scholarship, explain them the benefits of attending a community college instead of a private school. They can always transfer after the first two years. Nevertheless, if they find a full ride for a 4 year university that will be amazing. Many people are going through these burdens, financial uncertainty because they didn’t have someone to mentor them about the aftermath of a $100,000 loan. Sadly, may are still confused  about career choice and worried  about loans repayment.
The Student Loans Doctor is changing that narrative by providing more knowledge, education to the community so they can make better choices when it comes to repayment, make better choices when it comes to investing, creating wealth, or even creating a new way to pay off the debt sooner. Let’s work to secure a better future and bag for your offspring.

📸 Shotsbypriiincesss

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Beauty, Lifestyle

Mental Health Takeaway from The True Self Magazine by Muriam Cinevert.

There is nothing more beautiful than someone who goes out of their way to make life beautiful for others.” ― Mandy Hale

People will tell you that women don’t get alone, they can’t do business with each other or they are not supportive and that was a lie!!! Although, your vision may not be seen by many, there always will be a true supporter.
This was in the same contest True Self Mag was created by Muriam Cinevert.

What is True Self Mag?
True Self Magazine is the new number one publication marketing for voluptuous women and their businesses.  It was created to unleash, empower and encourage voluptuous women to express themselves unapologetically while making a difference globally.

What is the vision behind True Self Mag?

Creating a world where size doesn’t define you. You aren’t worth more when you are skinny and It doesn’t matter what kind of body you have. You are an amazing  human being, therefore you are worthy!
Here’s my mental health take away from this Magazine:
True beauty is about who you are as a human being, your principles, your moral. Many women struggle with low self-esteem, depression, lack of confidence because they think something is wrong with them.
Beauty is more than who you are on the outside, it is the wisdom and time you gave away to save another struggling soul like you.

True beauty doesn’t radiate from outer cosmetics, but from the simple joy of making a difference for those that need your voice and this is what True Self Magazine stands for.

Get you a free copy of the latest magazine. “The Ashley Stewarts Edition”

Website; www.trueselfmag.com
IG: true_self_mag
FB @trueselfmagazine

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Listen to Your Body and Go to The Potty

Listen to Your Body and Going to The Potty

Constipation is the most frequent gastrointestinal complaints in the USA and Western countries. There are at least 2.5 million doctor visits for constipation in the USA each year, and hundreds of millions of dollars are spent on laxatives per year.

What is Constipation?

Constipation  means that a person has three or fewer bowel movements in a week. Constipation most commonly occurs when the stool that forms after food is digested moves too slowly as it passes through the digestive tract. Change in diet , dehydration,certain drugs and sedantary lifestyle are frequently to blame. Also, poor coordination of the pelvic and anal muscles sometimes contribute to constipation which may cause bowel obstruction (blockage).
At one time or another, almost everyone gets constipated. In most cases, it usually lasts a short time; however, it can be pretty serious.  If you have any of these symptoms, you may be suffering from constipation.
1.      Hard and dry stool
2.      Painful and unpleasant discomfort during bowel movements
3.      Feeling of being unable to empty the bowels fully
4.      Loss of appetite due to a feeling of fullness
5.      Stool loos like small rocks etc..

There are many things you can do to prevent constipation. They include:

•       Eating more fruits, vegetables and grains, which are high in fiber
•       Drinking plenty of water and other liquids
•       Getting enough exercise
•       Taking time to have a bowel movement when you need to
•        There are different laxatives over the counter you can use but I really recommend that you talk to your doctor if you simply have to rely on them go the bathroom.
•       Asking your doctor if the medicines you take may cause constipation so he can prescribe something else for constipation.
Everyone’s body is different, you may go every day while someone else every other day. However, pay closed attention if your bowel habits change.


What can happen when things remain unclear?

Some tests may be done. The doctor may recommend an examination with a flexible viewing tube, either just the lower part of the large intestine (sigmoidoscopy) or (colonoscopy) for entire large intestine. This examination is important if the constipation developed suddenly or if it is worsening noticeably. So, listen to your body, do what you need to do, reflect on your lifestyle and talk frankly to your provider in order to receive proper treatment.

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Health

7 Steps to a Safer Sex Life.

In the last couple of days, we talked about Sexually Transmitted Diseases and how they can damage your immune system without knowing since you may not show signs and symptoms until permanent damage has occurred.

Yes, it’s normal to worry about catching something while having sex, but the steps you take to practice a safer sex life might definitely save you from any sexually transmitted disease nightmare. Here are the steps you can take to a safer sex life.

1.Be selective when choosing a sex partner.

If you are practicing abtinance, have your self and partner tested because it will be crazy to wait to have sex to later find out the person you were saving for actually give an STD ( sexually transmitted disease)

Have sex with only a partner that makes you feel safe about your health concerns. Someone who loves you would want to have the same goals.

2. Limit the number of sex partner.

It’s definitely not my place to tell you how many partners you want to have sex with, but I can tell that it is safest to have sex with only one person who is having sex with only you.

3 And if you do have multiple partners, protect yourself.

Use latex condoms every time when having sex.

Be mindful to use water-based lubricant because oil based can damage your condoms which put you at risk of contracting STDs.

4. Talk to your partners about sex.

If you’re gonna be in bed with someone, I’m sure it’s necessary to be comfortable about expressing your concerns and desires.

Be direct about your sexual needs and each other sexual health concerns/history

5. Get tested. Get in the habit.

Have an annual physical exam. For ladies (pap test,pelvic exam ect)

Have a check-up for STDs at least once a year and avoid using IV drugs

6. Be responsible.

If you think that you have been exposed to a sexually transmitted infection, go to your primary care doctor or health department and urge your partner to get tested at the same time.

Take all the medication that is prescribed to you and you only. Do not take medications that are not yours and don’t share yours.

Practice abtinance while on medication until you and your partner considered to be cured.

7.Stay in charge.

Having good judgment can save you. Don’t have sex if your partner appears to apparent signs of STIs

Don’t let alcohol jeopardize your judgement specially if you’re not in a good environment. Some people just don’t respect other’s bodies.

Please, don’t let embarrassment become a health risk.

There is no shame in talking about sex. Some people may find it shameful and don’t want to share the information with their healthcare provider. ( Your answer is safe with them). And if you feel uncomfortable with a doctor, you have the right to choose another that put you at ease. Speak openly and frankly with your doctor and take charge of your health.

When you and partner don’t have to worry about STDs, sex will be more enjoyable.

Until next time darlings 💛.

 

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